| I have come to the realization I need to remove familiar objects from my life. familiar objects that hold a soul-tie to past relationships and relationships that I know God wouldn't approve of.
I've got a new cell phone.
I realized the other day while going through my wallet who gave it to me.
I got a new wallet.
I'm leaving message boards and web communities.
I'm going through any artwork that I have that may remind me of someone from the past or whatever.
It's a process of cutting loose anything that will hinder me from growing closer to God. There are a lot of things I know that I will have difficulty letting go, but I know that letting go is a process for some of us, everyone is not super-Christian and can just "DO" over night like people think we should.
key words, PEOPLE THINK, not what God think. Then that would be different. Too many of us Christians project our selves and our opinions on others instead of what the Word says, and that is a warning given by the Apostle Paul in
• Galatians 6:1 "[Doing Good to All] Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."
I like the KJV version better 
• 1. Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
I fell into this... "How could so and so DO THAT?" and I criticized him, instead of praying for them and ended up in that same situation.
anyWAY, this "cleaning house" is going to do wonders and I thank God for the opportunity. I was speaking with Brad about fasting and he reminded me of the power of fasting and praying. I had TOTALLY forgotten about fasting, especially considering I had not fasted in years. There are a number of things I can fast from aside from just food and I KNOW the internet is #1 on that list.
I'm praying for wisdom in direction in this because a lot of times people try to do things THEIR way thinking "I'm going to do THIS" and lay that plan before God and expect him to bless it.
that's NOT how it works. We are supposed to ask God for guidance, to follow HIS will, not our will and hope God blesses it.
I often times do things and don't think before I act, and it costs me. Recently I did something with my children that really infuriated their mother. I felt so stupid for it because it caused an ever greater rift between us that I was working so hard to try to bridge.
But that was my problem. I am trying to bridge a gap that only God can bridge. I am guilty of going to God in prayer and laying things before him and going back and knocking on the door asking God if He's done or trying to pick it back up in a "Oh lemmie help you with that Lord" way.
chu stupid truck!!! [/spanish accent]
My heart really hurts. The pain of my divorce is real, but I must go on. I have to be a good parent to my daughters, and I have been having problems with that lately. I look at what I have done to my family, and then to be reminded of it in the worst way and being told to "deal with it" doesn't help.
Donnie McClurkin has a song that is called "I'll Trust You Lord". At the beginning he enacts a conversation with God and it goes like this:
Will you Trust Me?
What if you call Me and don't feel Me near you...will you still trust Me?
What if I tell you to let go of the very thing you think you need to hold...will you trust Me?
Yes, I'll trust You Lord.
What if it costs my life? yes I'll trust You Lord
What if I loose the very thing I love so dear? yes, I'll trust You Lord.
I pray that I get strength to let go of T so that she can heal. I have to let go and trust HIM. Trust that God will heal and restore in TIME. The difference between she and I, is she has let me go, but I am still clinging to her, trying to say or do the right thing, trying to repair what only God can...and guess what, it blows up in my face EVERY TIME. I can do something that she appreciates, but turn right around and do something dumb that infuriates her and I'm tired of letting her down.
She's doing everything without me, and I need to accept that. Lord help me let go.
God, I am suffering more than just emotionally and spiritually. Financial issue are rearing their head, but I would say that my past is catching up with me even though I am walking the Walk right now.
I have found a new church home, New Life in Christ. I am very happy to have found a place where the spirit is moving and the Word is being taught, and the saints are taken care of.
I will give an update on things as time goes on. I hope that Faith Family Church really does change in regards as to how it treats its black members and to be honest, its members who are struggling period. I don't blame Pastor Rick, his heart is genuine. More than anything, he probably has no idea of what is going on.
I can't wait for this current storm to end. Praise You Jesus for deliverance and for future wisdom. |
